


Pirate Queens Always Live Happily Ever After

by Sapphicsarah



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Sword Fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 21:08:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12896853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphicsarah/pseuds/Sapphicsarah
Summary: "I am the Dread Pirate Berenice! All shall perish!" Bernie screamed the battle cry over and over, until her voice grew hoarse.





	Pirate Queens Always Live Happily Ever After

Bernie always fancied herself an explorer. She loved to pour over the old Atlas in her father’s study, the book on the floor and her lying beside it. She mapped out adventures, maiden voyages to far off lands, up winding rivers, and into forbidden coves. Bernie was the captain of the ship, and her brothers were her first mates. 

At Christmas, her cousins would come to stay, and they would play her captives. They would huddle together as Bernie tied them to a coat rack with crumpled ribbon from opened presents. Eventually, they would mutiny and escape to the kitchen wearing eye-patches fashioned out of tattered cloth. Their swords were forged from sticks found on the ground in the garden outside. Epic battles were waged in the sitting room, standing atop rickety old chairs. Bed sheets from the upstairs linen closet were the ship's sails, and small scratches on arms became mortal wounds. The first blood always sparked a frenzy among the children, and a battle to the death would be declared. 

"I am the Dread Pirate Berenice! All shall perish!" Bernie screamed the battle cry over and over, until her voice grew hoarse. 

Those childhood games were all Bernie dreamt about when she was lying in the hospital bed after the IED hit. How ironic and sad, to be back where she began, only a few miles from her childhood. And unable to walk the distance home. 

...

Bernie has never felt so peaceful as when she’s lying beside Serena, hearing Serena slowly breathing in and out. Her greatest happiness is found when the lamplight is dim, and the bed is soft, and when Bernie feels herself slowly drift to sleep. 

Love is not how Bernie ever imagined it as a child. She always thought she’d capture a princess, bring her aboard the ship, propose marriage in order to save the princess from marrying the ghastly (and terribly old) King from the neighboring kingdom, get married, and live happily ever after as Pirate Queens. 

No, love isn’t quite like that. For one thing, there's less sword fighting. Almost no sword fighting, in fact, and a lot more talking. But Bernie doesn’t mind because there is also hand holding on quiet, misty mornings when fog skirts the bottoms of trees. Mornings when it's cold and gloomy and entirely beautiful, and Serena is there, humming as the kettle boils. 

Bernie loves to press against her, wrap her hands around Serena and kiss her shoulder. She nuzzles into the hair at the nape of Serena’s neck, still spiky and unkempt from sleep. Serena always hums contentedly and whispers “Good morning,” sighing as Bernie slowly kisses up her neck. 

Bernie wasn’t good at love in the beginning. She muttered her way through explanations and declarations of affection. Mumbled and whispered and sometimes kissed in place of a gentle “I love you.” She ran away to a foreign country for a little while, but eventually remembered that she was Berenice, “bearer of victory”, soldier and surgeon and The Dread Pirate Queen of the Sitting Room. She shouldn’t let fear stand in the way of happiness. So she went back and felt brave for the first time in years. 

…

When Cameron’s little boy Thomas is finally old enough to hold a stick, Bernie makes him first mate. They sail to India, to Argentina, and twice to Antarctica. Antarctica is Thomas’ favorite. 

“There are penguins there,” he squeals, as he clutches his little stuffed penguin. Grandma Serena had bought it for him on a whim on their first trip to the Zoo. It’s his most prized possession and is a constant companion during Pirate Time. Mister Penguin has survived many adventures and is perhaps the bravest of them all, having weathered Ice Cream stains, spaghetti stains, and drool. 

Thomas is drooling on him now, as they take their daily afternoon nap in the reading nook by the window. It’s the best seat in the house, with the view of the downs stretching out and away from the lawn. 

Bernie treasures the visits with Thomas. She never did get to play pirates with her children, and she is determined to make the most of it, to heal those old wounds. To be better this time. 

It’s a peaceful life here. Quiet, and full of love. But Bernie always had a restless spirit, and is still prone to wandering and pulling out maps just to find a place she hasn’t been before. She still leaves on assignments with humanitarian groups, and still disappears for months at a time. She’s never gone for more than three months. That’s the rule Serena came up with, never more than 90 days. 

Serena always lets Bernie leave, and Bernie always comes back. She returns from abroad always a little weary and a little older, and always a little more in love with Serena than she was before. She misses the strangest things when she’s gone; noises and smells she hadn’t noticed before. The inside of Serena’s wrist, the smell of her cooking, and the sound of her snoring. The way Serena calms Thomas when he begins to cry, and the way they settle together on the floor near the fire, and listen to the wood quietly crackle. 

Bernie inherited the house when her mother died, and Serena had needed a home where Elinor wasn’t everywhere. So they moved into the old place, and brought new life to it. Bernie thinks there must be poetry in it, starting and ending one’s life in the same place. Although this doesn’t feel like an ending. Rather, a new chapter. Or a new book. There’s still sword fighting, and romance, and loss, and adventure. There’s still hope and infinite pleasure in exploring the world and coming back to this place. 

There’s still much yet to come. There are dishes in the sink that need to be washed and the south side of the house needs to be repainted. The kitchen door creaks, and they need more wood for the fire. Whenever Serena picks her up from the station, Bernie drives the journey back,  just so Serena can look at her the whole way home. The look is a gentle exploration, a tender study, as if Serena is seeing Bernie and knowing her for the first time all over again. 

And in the morning, Bernie always wakes to the sound of Serena humming downstairs. 

 

 

 

"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." T. S. Eliot. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not dead? Hi!


End file.
